When you began your job, you found your boss attractive right away, but focused on establishing yourself at work. It is not uncommon for colleagues to develop romantic feelings for one another. Working with colleagues oftentimes means getting to know them very well and learning to appreciate their capabilities and trust their support. Peter Lobl is a clinical psychologist specializing in relationship issues with adults and couples, with a private practice in New York City. You Were as Open With Your Feelings as You Could Be If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work and your story could be featured on WSID at Newsweek. Newsweek's "What Should I Do?" offers expert advice to readers. I like my job as I work four days a week and my commute is only 10 minutes, even though I can feel my health deteriorating. The situation has gotten so bad that I have been contemplating resigning, but I don't really want to quit. I've tried therapy but so far, no improvement. I know that this is really immature but I can't help it. I have even flat out ignored her at times. I can't sleep, and dread going to work because I don't want to see her, and I go out of my way to avoid her. I have been carrying these feelings around for six months now and I can't seem to move on and I always end up thinking about her, every hour and even in my dreams, almost everything reminds me of her. I began to bring chocolates and snacks in to work, and after I brought her these cookies that she liked, she even joked a few days later asking me, "where are my cookies?" Once I baked a cake and when she asked me if there was any left, I'm sure she made eyes at me and was flirting.Īfter some time, I found out that she had actually been dating someone else for months, and I have to admit that it hurt, and I haven't found myself able to get over the disappointment and missed opportunity. I just wanted to make her laugh and be cute and funny, and I think her reactions were genuine. It wasn't intentional and I had no purpose of hitting on her whatsoever. An employee has written in to Newsweek to ask for advice because he has developed strong feelings for his boss. I found out we had so much in common in terms of our lifestyle, upbringing, and hobbies.Ī composite of stock images showing a woman at work and a man deep in thought. The more I learned about her, the more I realized I was starting to have feelings for her. Sometimes we would talk about work and the conversation just mutually transitioned to personal topics as if we were both trying to get to know each other better. I am the youngest on my team, who are all female, except for my boss, who I found out is three years younger than me.Īs the months went by, I became closer with my boss. ![]() Things were going alright and I felt like I had successfully acclimated to my work environment and proved that I was reliable, and I was getting along well with my colleagues. I knew it would never happen because she was my boss, and my goal was to focus on my role and responsibilities as diligently as possible and do the job as best I can. ![]() When I started this job I was coming out of a very dark time in my life after my father died and I had been unemployed for three years, so I never thought for a second that I had a chance with her. I have been at my current job for a year and a half now, since October 2021, and I thought my boss was attractive from the first moment I met her. Dear Newsweek, I have developed feelings for my female boss.
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